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The Remedy for Conflict: LOVE April 6, 2021

Posted by Danna Beal in Love, Project Illumination, Relationships.
1 comment so far

The Zags, the remarkable Gonzaga men’s basketball team, is moving into the Final Four in the NCAA championship tournament. As a Washingtonian, with Spokane as my hometown, I am excited for the Zags! I also keep reading and hearing about how happy, committed, and confident the players are during the games. These young men have described themselves as genuinely liking one another and sincerely supporting each other to win the games. They don’t let their egos get in the way, and instead, play to everyone’s strengths. The harmony and teamwork shown by the Zags can be an impressive example of what is needed in the workplace culture.

Conflict in the workplace, as well as families, communities, and the nation, blocks the teamwork and harmony we want in the workplace culture. Conflict and mental health issues are on the rise. Employee Assistance Programs are trying to meet the demands. But treating the symptoms is not changing the culture where the real problems exist. The responsibility for transforming workplace culture resides with leadership. Respect and true affinity for one another starts from enlightened leaders operating from universal love, the basic and powerful force that unites human beings.

We often use the word love indiscriminately: “I love my house, my new outfit, the movie I saw, the dinner I had, the new car I bought, or the places I have visited.” But we hesitate to use the same word about our neighbors, our co-workers, our friends, or especially our enemies. Too often, we hold back love and refrain from expressing our affinity for others. And when someone disagrees with us or does something that we find unacceptable, we can actually feel hostile toward that one or that group of people. This resulting conflict of these contradictory views in the workplace is a toxic environment while, on a bigger scope, the outcome in the country is a divided nation. Conflict is seen, heard, and felt frequently. Blaming others is not the remedy. The antidote to conflict is the wisdom of universal love. The path to harmony is not in overcoming others, but conversely, in finding that we are more alike than we are different.

Examining conflict and our own part in creating the discord that blocks teamwork.

I suggest we ask ourselves the following questions and consider these possible viewpoints.

  1. Why do I identify so strongly with my beliefs?
    I am not my beliefs. My beliefs are just my thoughts and opinions that I believe to be true. I hold them often so tightly that if someone has an opposing view, I feel it as a threat to my very power and self-worth. But even this sense of attack on me is just another reaction based on my opinion.
  2. Why do I have to be right and feel superior to others?
    My need to be right and overcome others’ opinions only causes them to feel backed into a corner in which they feel must come out fighting. Our need to be right has escalated the conflict. They have a right to their opinion even if it differs from mine.
  3. Why do I make enemies, either at work and/or in our national politics?
    When I can see that I assign the role of enemy to anyone, any group, or circumstance that threatens my identity or sense of safety, then I can experience personal freedom. A perceived enemy is a mirror reflecting our inner fear. Blaming others weakens us.
  4. Can I slow down long enough to find clarity?
    The culture of being busy, dealing with constant information such as email, texts, the internet, social media, and the news has become overwhelming and has caused a frenetic society. Bringing mindfulness, calm, and presence to every situation is the path to clarity and resolution. It is also the only way we can align with the power of love.
  5. Can I face my greatest fear, weakness, doubt, or sense of unworthiness?
    Great leaders have the trait of introspection and personal responsibility. They have the humility to be wrong and to admit their shortcomings. This takes great courage and is contrary to what many think is required in strong leadership.

The culture starts at the top and enlightened leaders throughout history who have led successful organizations, movements, and countries, take full responsibility for losses—not blaming issues on scapegoats and fall guys. Leaders create wins but accept responsibility for losses.

The remedy of love and acceptance.

Love, in the truest universal sense, is the most powerful force in the universe. It shines on everyone and resides in all people. When in alignment with love, we are energized and empowered to make new discoveries and accomplish great feats. Love is not a weakness. On the contrary, love is the power that sustains all life. It is masterful and imaginative. Imagination stems from the wellspring of creativity – which is the source of genius itself. When we align with love, we align with the power to move mountains, the strength to stand in truth, and the gentleness to feel compassion for all living things.

How do we align with love?

  1. Have an open mind.
    A closed mind can never learn anything new. It stops discovery, innovation, and creativity. Be open to others’ opinions and desires. Listen to others rather than offering your opinion first.
  2. Notice the constantly chattering mind and start to recognize you are not your thoughts.
    The mind is often on autopilot and is thinking all the time. You even argue with the thoughts in your mind. See them as habits of thinking and recognize that you don’t have to believe them.
  3. Notice the slightest irritations with others.
    Sometimes the smallest disagreements of different opinions can trigger us to want to be right and overcome the other person or group. Can you notice that the issue is not that important or might even be trivial and doesn’t really matter?
  4. Respect the right of others to have their own opinion.
    You will never change someone’s mind by blaming or saying they are wrong. Demonstrate your own beliefs through your actions, not your words. Be an example of love and practice compassion and forgiveness.
  5. Notice how often and what you are complaining about.
    The ego is constantly complaining about everything—the weather, the traffic, the news, the others, politics, or some irritable circumstance. This is the ego’s clever way to make you superior, the one who knows more, and the one who is always right. Try to notice and then stop complaining. Feel gratitude for all that is right rather than your perceptions of what is wrong.
  6. Never underestimate the ego’s ability to run the show.
    The ego is so crafty it will try to say things to you that will validate your faulty thinking. Your ego may play the role of the exalted one or the smartest one in the room. Or less easily recognized, the ego may be the self-righteous victim, the unfairly treated, or the underdog. These shadow personalities are barriers to your true birthright of joy, creativity, and peace. Your ego can justify anything. It takes great perseverance to not be tricked by your own ego.

Join me in Project Illumination, dedicated to bringing light and love, individually and collectively, to the workplace, to families, to communities, and the world. One by one, we can heal the dissension between human beings with kindness, honor, and respect for one another. We have the opportunity, as leaders, to create better cultures in the workplace and the world. Go Zags! First Published in Healthcare News.

Danna Beal, M.Ed., lives in the Seattle, WA area where she is an international speaker, author, retreat/workshop leader, and executive coach. She has spoken to thousands of businesses and conferences and has been on countless radio shows, podcasts, and webinars discussing “Enlightened Leadership” and “Workplace Culture” based on her book, “The Extraordinary Workplace: Replacing Fear with Trust and Compassion.” Her audiences and clients have included: Seattle Science Foundation–Spine Surgeons Grand Rounds, Swedish Hospital and Medical Groups, Kaiser Permanente Grand Rounds, Oakland, CA, AHRA, Orlando, FL, Federal Aviation Administration, Overlake Hospital Perioperative Conference, Radia, numerous physician practices and hospitals. Her website is www.dannabeal.com.

Healthcare News: Finding Clarity in the Unknown: One Day at a Time June 2, 2020

Posted by Danna Beal in Awaken, Love, Personal Freedom, Project Illumination, Spiritual evolution, Universal Love.
Tags: , , ,
1 comment so far

We have all been impacted during this global pandemic in ways we could never have imagined. Healthcare has been severely hit during these unfolding days, weeks, and months. We owe our continuing gratitude for the selflessness, courage, and sacrifice of so many people in all aspects of healthcare delivery. It has taken a toll on everyone, both here and around the world. How we emerge from all this is still evolving and lies in the realm of the unknown. Based on my experience with thousands of people, the unknown is cited as their greatest fear.

The frenetic and often dysfunctional workplace culture came to a grinding halt, causing us to face not only our external fears, but also, our inner demons and shadows. In the midst of sheltering in place, working remotely, working under strict guidelines, being unemployed, isolated, and feeling loss, it is hard to find one’s footing. Economic worries and financial losses can be overwhelming. In the absence of a knowable future, the ego goes into self-protection and dictates reactions and solutions. However, thoughts directed by the ego are fickle, floundering, argumentative, exaggerated, insane, contradictory, and utterly unreal. I believe we always have the choice to listen to our ego or our soul. Our feelings are a response to the narrative and can change instantly if we recognize their source.

Profound Opportunity to Create a New Culture

Although we have not had anything of this magnitude in our lifetimes, we have witnessed people coming together with compassion and love in previous crises. We now have a profound opportunity to bring love and compassion to the workplace and the world.

Tantamount to creating a new and cooperative culture is the individual process of self-realization. This includes facing our inner fears and demons. Fear is inside you and is not caused by a situation or an enemy. But it is so hidden in most people, they do not even know that it is fear that is motivating them. Blame and projection, drawing lines in the sand, and creating enemies are all a result of fear. Fear melts when you align with your inner core, allowing your courage and strength to arise.

This period in time offers pause for self-reflection, a time to restore and renew your sense of purpose, your values and your path in life. You can assist in creating a new culture when you are operating from the strength of love and inner wisdom.

Resiliency and Energy of the Human Spirit to Survive Daunting Challenges

You are witnessing and participating in an extraordinary moment in history. If you were to look back from some future point in time, what would you like to remember? What lessons did you learn, how did you survive, how did you face challenges, how did you make a difference, and did you share the energy of love and compassion? How did you contribute to a new culture? Will you see that despite uncertainty and suffering, your inner strength and will to live carried you to new heights of understanding and wisdom? Despite many losses, there are many beautiful moments occurring right now. Let this moment in time be a place of remembrance of the resiliency and energy of the human spirit to survive daunting challenges.

Project Illumination—Steps for Bringing Light and Inspiration to the Workplace

We have an opportunity to bring in light and inspiration to the workplace, create clarity in the fog of confusion, and heal the complex web of egos competing for power and validation. Here are my suggestions to assist in creating a new culture:

  1. Take one day at a time and, in very severe situations, it may be one moment at a time. This can immediately calm you and bring you to the present. Trying to control days, weeks, and years ahead of you, is overwhelming and exhausting. Trust that you will find solutions and inspirations as life unfolds. Life is a gift and it is offering new experiences and opportunities, often disguised initially as problems. Innovation and new opportunities arise in calmness, not angst. When you trust in the unknown you tap into imagination–the wellspring of creativity—genius itself.
  2. Start each day with gratitude for all the good in your life. Put your losses in perspective. Though times are exceedingly difficult, some of the things we complain about are not worthy of our attention. Start to notice how much you complain about people and situations that are petty and small. Complaining is a hidden way to be a self-righteous victim and there is no power in being a victim.
  3. Incite group will—a powerful catalyst for new and innovative ideas. Find mutual goals and values and celebrate contribution. Whether working remotely or in the workplace, engage others with understanding, humor, clear communication, asking questions, listening, and demonstrating respect. Share and honor stories that are uplifting, heartwarming and bonding to your team and your organization. Recognize the human spirit in all of us.
  4. Stop being so hard on yourself. These are unprecedented times. Give compassionate grace to yourself and others. Perfection is an illusion and it only leads to self-recrimination. Self-shaming or self-criticism is an epidemic within the pandemic. Only you can give it up. Stop clinging to self-imposed suffering. Renounce it now.
  5. Do not completely isolate yourself. Reach out to others through video chats, phone, and safe environments according to the guidelines in your area. Be outside and enjoy exercise and fresh air. Emanate love and compassion whenever you go. Kindness is a great healer. Eyes are the windows of the soul and even in a mask, people can see your smile in your eyes.
  6. Be discerning and measure information from your own values and intelligence, not sensationalism and drama. Be open to all points of view and find your own voice. With so much disinformation out there, it is understandable when people do not know what to believe. Ask yourself, “Who does this benefit? Does it resonate as truth or does it sound like fanaticism? Will it help bring peace and reconciliation? Does it bring us together or divide us?”
  7. Be free. Regardless of circumstances, freedom is first a state of mind. Victor Frankl, author, neurologist, and holocaust survivor found freedom in a concentration camp. He stated, “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

Danna Beal, M.Ed., lives in the Seattle, WA area where she is an international speaker, author, retreat/workshop leader, and executive coach. She has spoken to thousands of businesses and conferences and has been on countless radio shows, podcasts, and webinars discussing “Enlightened Leadership” and “Workplace Culture” based on her book, “The Extraordinary Workplace: Replacing Fear with Trust and Compassion.” Her audiences and clients have included: Seattle Science Foundation–Spine Surgeons Grand Rounds, Kaiser Permanente Grand Rounds, Oakland, CA, AHRA, Orlando, FL, Federal Aviation Administration, Overlake Hospital Perioperative Conference, Radia, numerous physician practices and hospitals. Her website is www.dannabeal.com.

Project Illumination: Self-Reflection Leads to Reunification with the Soul May 26, 2020

Posted by Danna Beal in Project Illumination.
Tags: , , , ,
1 comment so far

Tantamount to the world awakening is your individual consciousness being expanded and transformed. You are that one—each of you, with the ability to be restored to your true self, your inner greatness. This is a time of spiritual transformation within each of you. What cannot be achieved within cannot be achieved without.  Reunification with the soul is just that–shining a light on your own fears and weakness and allowing them to dissipate.

In the midst of uncertainty and a worldwide pandemic, you are not helpless and you do not need a savior. Joy is available in the darkest hour when you relax and trust in the unknown. Blessed are you, powerful spiritual beings who have come here to assist in the worldwide awakening.

When you realize that every thought you have is made up by you–the author of your own story, you will then see that you can tell a new story.  Every feeling that that you experience stems from your own story of pain and suffering in the past.  It is time to renounce it all. Suffering is over unless you cling to it.  It is your choice. Give up your path of wallowing in fear and victim-hood.  Choose joy, your natural inheritance—yours for the asking—this moment, right now, and for every moment that you choose. 

Suffering is such a delusional way to live. Give up your stories, recriminations, and accusations toward yourself and others and watch the pain melt away.  Stop holding yourself responsible for the world and for everything that is not in your control, anyway.  Be happy.  Just be happy and trust that each moment will find you and take you to the next exhilarating and wonderful moment. Life is a gift.  Get that deeply in your heart.

Crash through the glass wall of protection, put in place by you.  Recognize that your fear of being duped, abandoned, humiliated, or not loved and your resistance to those outcomes, do not prevent them from happening. Self-protective strategies are your attempts to control the external conditions and they will not save you.  You do not need saving. 

Allow the pain to just come up and see that you are simply trying to protect yourself.  Realize you are not the cause of anyone else’s choices or opinions. The fear of loss or rejection is so locked away that most people don’t even know that fear is what is driving them.  Let it out, release it and move into the world of love, the world you belong in. Be a light for those who cannot see.  Protection is a false need that is just an illusion.  Suffering in silence doesn’t make it easier—actually, it makes it harder to bear.  Just look at that which your fear and find freedom. Most of all, another person is not your savior–you are.

Project Illumination is well on its way but you can assist in its acceleration by fully awakening now. It is time to commit to peace–totally, relentlessly, and passionately. This passage in time is about freedom. Freedom is being threatened and you are the ones who can rise above the artificial power that is controlling so many. Freedom is first a state of being. It is time to give up blame and projection and, instead, fearlessly stand for truth. When you are free, your inner courage will sustain you as a pillar of truth and light.

NICKSPEAK

“I'D BEEN REJECTED, BUT I WAS STILL IN LOVE, SO I DECIDED TO START OVER” Nick Hahn, Writer, Narrator, Traveler

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