The Remedy for Conflict: LOVE April 6, 2021
Posted by Danna Beal in Love, Project Illumination, Relationships.1 comment so far
The Zags, the remarkable Gonzaga men’s basketball team, is moving into the Final Four in the NCAA championship tournament. As a Washingtonian, with Spokane as my hometown, I am excited for the Zags! I also keep reading and hearing about how happy, committed, and confident the players are during the games. These young men have described themselves as genuinely liking one another and sincerely supporting each other to win the games. They don’t let their egos get in the way, and instead, play to everyone’s strengths. The harmony and teamwork shown by the Zags can be an impressive example of what is needed in the workplace culture.
Conflict in the workplace, as well as families, communities, and the nation, blocks the teamwork and harmony we want in the workplace culture. Conflict and mental health issues are on the rise. Employee Assistance Programs are trying to meet the demands. But treating the symptoms is not changing the culture where the real problems exist. The responsibility for transforming workplace culture resides with leadership. Respect and true affinity for one another starts from enlightened leaders operating from universal love, the basic and powerful force that unites human beings.
We often use the word love indiscriminately: “I love my house, my new outfit, the movie I saw, the dinner I had, the new car I bought, or the places I have visited.” But we hesitate to use the same word about our neighbors, our co-workers, our friends, or especially our enemies. Too often, we hold back love and refrain from expressing our affinity for others. And when someone disagrees with us or does something that we find unacceptable, we can actually feel hostile toward that one or that group of people. This resulting conflict of these contradictory views in the workplace is a toxic environment while, on a bigger scope, the outcome in the country is a divided nation. Conflict is seen, heard, and felt frequently. Blaming others is not the remedy. The antidote to conflict is the wisdom of universal love. The path to harmony is not in overcoming others, but conversely, in finding that we are more alike than we are different.
Examining conflict and our own part in creating the discord that blocks teamwork.
I suggest we ask ourselves the following questions and consider these possible viewpoints.
- Why do I identify so strongly with my beliefs?
I am not my beliefs. My beliefs are just my thoughts and opinions that I believe to be true. I hold them often so tightly that if someone has an opposing view, I feel it as a threat to my very power and self-worth. But even this sense of attack on me is just another reaction based on my opinion. - Why do I have to be right and feel superior to others?
My need to be right and overcome others’ opinions only causes them to feel backed into a corner in which they feel must come out fighting. Our need to be right has escalated the conflict. They have a right to their opinion even if it differs from mine. - Why do I make enemies, either at work and/or in our national politics?
When I can see that I assign the role of enemy to anyone, any group, or circumstance that threatens my identity or sense of safety, then I can experience personal freedom. A perceived enemy is a mirror reflecting our inner fear. Blaming others weakens us. - Can I slow down long enough to find clarity?
The culture of being busy, dealing with constant information such as email, texts, the internet, social media, and the news has become overwhelming and has caused a frenetic society. Bringing mindfulness, calm, and presence to every situation is the path to clarity and resolution. It is also the only way we can align with the power of love. - Can I face my greatest fear, weakness, doubt, or sense of unworthiness?
Great leaders have the trait of introspection and personal responsibility. They have the humility to be wrong and to admit their shortcomings. This takes great courage and is contrary to what many think is required in strong leadership.
The culture starts at the top and enlightened leaders throughout history who have led successful organizations, movements, and countries, take full responsibility for losses—not blaming issues on scapegoats and fall guys. Leaders create wins but accept responsibility for losses.
The remedy of love and acceptance.
Love, in the truest universal sense, is the most powerful force in the universe. It shines on everyone and resides in all people. When in alignment with love, we are energized and empowered to make new discoveries and accomplish great feats. Love is not a weakness. On the contrary, love is the power that sustains all life. It is masterful and imaginative. Imagination stems from the wellspring of creativity – which is the source of genius itself. When we align with love, we align with the power to move mountains, the strength to stand in truth, and the gentleness to feel compassion for all living things.
How do we align with love?
- Have an open mind.
A closed mind can never learn anything new. It stops discovery, innovation, and creativity. Be open to others’ opinions and desires. Listen to others rather than offering your opinion first. - Notice the constantly chattering mind and start to recognize you are not your thoughts.
The mind is often on autopilot and is thinking all the time. You even argue with the thoughts in your mind. See them as habits of thinking and recognize that you don’t have to believe them. - Notice the slightest irritations with others.
Sometimes the smallest disagreements of different opinions can trigger us to want to be right and overcome the other person or group. Can you notice that the issue is not that important or might even be trivial and doesn’t really matter? - Respect the right of others to have their own opinion.
You will never change someone’s mind by blaming or saying they are wrong. Demonstrate your own beliefs through your actions, not your words. Be an example of love and practice compassion and forgiveness. - Notice how often and what you are complaining about.
The ego is constantly complaining about everything—the weather, the traffic, the news, the others, politics, or some irritable circumstance. This is the ego’s clever way to make you superior, the one who knows more, and the one who is always right. Try to notice and then stop complaining. Feel gratitude for all that is right rather than your perceptions of what is wrong. - Never underestimate the ego’s ability to run the show.
The ego is so crafty it will try to say things to you that will validate your faulty thinking. Your ego may play the role of the exalted one or the smartest one in the room. Or less easily recognized, the ego may be the self-righteous victim, the unfairly treated, or the underdog. These shadow personalities are barriers to your true birthright of joy, creativity, and peace. Your ego can justify anything. It takes great perseverance to not be tricked by your own ego.
Join me in Project Illumination, dedicated to bringing light and love, individually and collectively, to the workplace, to families, to communities, and the world. One by one, we can heal the dissension between human beings with kindness, honor, and respect for one another. We have the opportunity, as leaders, to create better cultures in the workplace and the world. Go Zags! First Published in Healthcare News.
Danna Beal, M.Ed., lives in the Seattle, WA area where she is an international speaker, author, retreat/workshop leader, and executive coach. She has spoken to thousands of businesses and conferences and has been on countless radio shows, podcasts, and webinars discussing “Enlightened Leadership” and “Workplace Culture” based on her book, “The Extraordinary Workplace: Replacing Fear with Trust and Compassion.” Her audiences and clients have included: Seattle Science Foundation–Spine Surgeons Grand Rounds, Swedish Hospital and Medical Groups, Kaiser Permanente Grand Rounds, Oakland, CA, AHRA, Orlando, FL, Federal Aviation Administration, Overlake Hospital Perioperative Conference, Radia, numerous physician practices and hospitals. Her website is www.dannabeal.com.
Welcome to a new existence! June 29, 2018
Posted by Danna Beal in Forgiveness, Global Oneness, Relationships, Spiritual Awakening.Tags: Ego, Joy, Love, Peace, Relationships, Spirit, Truth
add a comment
Examine your life anew, remembering every significant event, and even those not appearing to be so important. Recall how you felt, especially those that caused you pain, and question your evaluation and subsequent belief about what happened. Ask yourself, “Was that what really happened?” Try to be open to a different interpretation from that which you made at the time. Experiment and even make up a different possibility. Let go of this fixed opinion about the person or situation, even for a moment and allow another possibility to arise. It is in your story about this person or situation that you have disavowed or devalued yourself. It is not wrong. It is only the result of a painful occurrence in your life, in which you tried to avoid and prevent yourself from feeling hurt. Your desire for self-protection is what created the walls that are now keeping you apart–keeping you in some level of fear of others.
The desire to be safe makes sense, but it is placing reliance on a defense and provides only temporary relief. It results in reactions and counter-reactions that are part of the entire web of interacting egos operating at this time. The suffering experienced by you and every other person is causing a huge divide in families, communities, societies, and nations worldwide. This suffering and subsequent seeing others as the enemy has been the cause and source of all conflict, and, ultimately, the cause of wars between nations.
Voluntarily facing your own fears and discovering your true source, which is the love and power from which you came, is the way to your personal relief, as well as that of others. As you, one by one, stop blaming others and “put down the gun”, so to speak, you begin the unraveling process. When you can see that others are only alternate versions of yourself, wanting to be loved and needed, you will begin healing. It is all the same thing for everyone. Each beautiful, unique, and precious individual just wants to be loved and needed. The heart yearns for love and acceptance.
Love is a deeply abiding presence residing in all of us, connecting us to one another, emerging from life itself. We cannot hold love, nor can we destroy it for it is the birthright of every man woman and child. Love provides answers even when we are alone. It comforts us and support us in the darkest experiences. Love’s presence is gift available at any moment, anytime, anywhere, regardless of the surroundings or circumstances. Can you put parameters on love, can you put limits on love, can you explain the inexplicable? Can you lasso the win? Lo and behold—you are love. You are an extension of Source.
Higher consciousness is a state of living in a higher reality and in a higher relationship with self and others than we are now. Just knowing we are part of a higher consciousness IS a higher consciousness. Being tapped into that higher reality allows you to participate in transforming consciousness here at this time. You have come here to do just that. As you elevate yourselves, you automatically elevate others. Nothing will remain the same after this moment in time which is expanding rapidly to create a new world. Welcome to a new existence. This is a precious time to be alive. You are on an exalted path to a new word.
The mass ego delusion has played on too long. This is the time to shift into a new world of love and forgiveness—where we take down the walls and masks and finally see our brothers and sisters, whom we had mistakenly identified as the enemy.
Reunification with Your Soul May 8, 2018
Posted by Danna Beal in Authentic Power, Awaken, Love, Personal Freedom, Relationships, Spiritual Awakening, Spiritual Energy, Spiritual shift.Tags: Joy, Love, Peace, soul, Spirit, Unification
2 comments
The joy of reuniting completely with your soul can only be appreciated when you give up preconceived ideas of what your soul is, defined or conjured up by the ego. Your pathway to this experience is paved with many misunderstandings, misconceptions, and misguided attempts, but is deliberately leading to reuniting you with your soul. Inhabitants of this planet began the journey long before they arrived. The intentional pressure provides the work to bring about awakening on this journey.
The process is filled with many missteps, but a deliberate commitment to rattling the cage of the ego’s self-appointed prison can lead to this beautiful re-connection and reunion with the soul.
High frequencies of undulating waves of joy are yours for the asking, yet many refuse to recognize or even conceive of the possibility of such joy, and therefore delay their journey. Instead they spend a lot of time in a massive delusion with repeated disappointments and negative consequences—so powerful is the denial created by the ego. But at the end of the delusion is the destiny of each soul–reunification with the soul that will finally be attained.
Pleasure along the way keeps the process going, allowing each individual an opportunity to have substantial hope and expectation that joy eventually will be attained. The significant efforts down the alternative paths and desires, will recognize that these simple results and external rewards (money, position, status, homes, cars, fame) always provide temporary happiness and only lead to dissatisfaction and disappointment.
You, dear ones, are here to help others discover their path of awakening by pointing back to the source of the pain and suffering, so that they can release their misguided beliefs and hasten their journey back home to themselves. This awakening is a true transfer to one’s authentic self, which is the only real escape from pain and disillusionment. Your significant effort and repeated challenges to this exalted path have been a divine crossing into the unknown, where all joy, freedom, and love reside.
We have been with you always and applaud and rejoice at every step on your way back to yourself. Believe in us and continue to receive our guidance we so freely offer. Proud moments lie ahead, so well deserved by you. Fulfill your fate by deliberate steps forward, not doubting or giving into your shadow or memories of past experiences. It is over! It is done! You can reclaim your soul and your right to your inheritance. Do not delay another moment. You will be astounded at all that is awaiting you—for your pleasure and gratification of your soul. Align deeply with your hopes and desires and your actions will attest to the truth of your soul’s journey and to assist others to reunite with their souls in full realization.
Be not blinded again by fear and doubt. It is over!!! It is done!! You’re suffering is no longer needed to elevate you. Step out of the ego’s delusion and claim your rightful heritage. Say to yourself and others, “I belong here and joy is mine for the asking. I am beautiful.” Release your old preconceived ideas that life must be so difficult. Stand up and rejoice! You are home. You have returned to your divine self.
Pledge allegiance to this beautiful outcome and transformation and meet each day with happiness and expectation of only the best. Live your life and trust in the knowledge that you are being guided and provided what you need. The arduous journey is done, and the glimmering future has arrived. And it is beyond your wildest expectations. Your days will be bountiful, trust in that. And refuse to look back and there is no need to repeat the past.
You lift hearts and fill others with white light of knowing their true purpose. People are attracted to your light–they always have been. Your beautiful soul extends out and softens the hearts of everyone. You are source of release and joy! You are a part of the evolution and transformation, and that is why we have told you — it can’t fail–it can’t fail! It is your destiny. Your joy is our joy, your peace is our peace, and your gratitude is our gratitude. We elevate you to a new level of truth and confidence so that you can continue your work to assist in the advancement of the civilization.
When You Worry About Your Adult Child November 15, 2017
Posted by Danna Beal in 1, Emancipation, Inner Peace, Love, Relationships.Tags: children, freedom, Joy, Parenting, Parents, Truth, wisdom
3 comments
I shared the following message with a coaching client a year ago who was having fear and anxiety about her grown child and her life choices. Six months later I realized the message was for me when my adult son broke his neck in a mountain biking accident. Before I go further, I want to add that he is on a path of healing and wellness due to the love from family and friends, great doctors, and his own resiliency and positive attitude.
But for me, as a mother, it was an excruciatingly painful time, especially in the uncertain time in the first few weeks. Maintaining an alignment with my divine source was a daily practice and some days for me, it was almost impossible due to my fears. The message below, as well as love and support from my family and friends, helped me. I had to read it and focus on it many, many times, but it shifted my limited view that was coming from a mother’s eyes, to one of trust and respect for my adult son’s courage and belief in himself.
Here is the message:
Children rarely follow the path their parents have envisioned for them. Each child has many twists and turns in the road to and throughout adulthood. Every child is really the prodigal son, in a sense, in that each must take his or her own journey.
When you love your children deeply you can mistakenly believe you know what is best for them, even when they are adults. It is deep love, predicated by a desire to keep them safe, that creates the illusion that telling them what to do will protect them from their own lives. You only want for their happiness and survival in what appears to be a scary world. What is not usually understood is that the child is an equal soul and has his/her own journey to be followed based on the needs of his/her own chosen destiny.
If you worry about your adult children, this message and consequent understanding should give you some relief. You cannot really impact your children’s choices based on your own fears and desires, but you can inspire and fortify their courage by demonstrating faith in them to make the right choices for themselves. Offering unconditional love but not responsibility for their decisions– no matter how their choices appear to you, is the ultimate gift you can give them. When asked, it is appropriate to offer your suggestions and wisdom but still, emphasizing that they make their own choices. Demonstrate trust that they will make the best choices for themselves. Trust that your children’s decisions are part of their experience—not right or wrong, no matter how it appears to you.
Admonishments and warnings about negative consequences to your adult child’s life are based on your own fears. It is out of love that you give your opinions, but they can be received as criticism or lack of confidence in them. In some cases, it can create a breach and an alienation in the relationship. You are learning one of life’s most difficult lessons—letting go and allowing a child its natural birthright and responsibility to follow his/her chosen path, even when it appears careless, risky, or mistaken. It is a difficult lesson because parents so love their children, and as human beings, the desire is protect them.
The release comes when parents tell their children that they trust them to make the best decisions for their own lives and, as parents, they wish only the best for them. If you, as a parent, offer an opinion and it is rejected, it helps to explain that you recognize and acknowledge that they must make their own choices. Your children’s life decisions are theirs to make and they will face their own results—those that may appear good or bad to you, but are all, ultimately, part of their awakening. Resist the unconscious desire to project your own worries and fears on your children.
All the love parents feel does not give them the ability or the responsibility to usurp their children’s power. Parents do not have the vision to see what is truly best for their children’s soul journeys. Views through a parent’s eyes cannot see the perspective that comes from a higher spiritual vantage. Parents often maintain an image of their child that is no longer accurate. Letting go of the limited image from a parent’s eyes and seeing a child as an adult is a difficult but rewarding transition. The good news is that your only work is loving each child’s own heart and letting go of fear. And as we free our children, we free ourselves.
Antidote to Dilute the Power of Toxic Ideas December 15, 2016
Posted by Danna Beal in Enemies, Forgiveness, Global Oneness, Love, Relationships.Tags: Awakening, Joy, Love, Peace, Planetary Transformation
2 comments
Tremendous efforts are needed to dissuade the common theme of attack and overcome that is held by so many people in this world. Peace can never come from overcoming others. Understanding relationships and finding radical new ways to achieve peace are necessary for the pursuant of freedom. Each and every one is part of the new wave of love and compassion that is needed today. It is time to stretch the current framework and create a new world.
It is important to recognize the dynamic of mutual engagement. Whether between individuals, groups or whole nations, it takes both sides to hold the relationship together. As an example, visualize a shoe lace that is intertwined as it laces the shoe with adjoining pressure, pulling the parts of the shoe together. This automatically tightens the grip of both sides of the shoe. This joint pressure holds the shoe together. But when the pressure becomes unbearable, the lace breaks—“the tie that binds them”. This breaking or bursting is usually seen as the fault of the other, but is actually the result of both sides pulling against each other—intertwined needs and emotions that keep them engaged. It is not love that binds them–it is fear.
What we are witnessing today is the bursting of pressure of two sides of the polarity so that we can transform the planet to a whole new way of being–a planetary shift like the world has never seen. We are moving out of polarity and into compassion, trust and love for one another. You are a part of the magnificent planetary evolution and that is why you are here.
Understand this. Trying to overcome another person, group or nation, by intensifying the pressure, always results in disruptions and even wars. Warring nations have been held in the same pull of intertwined relationships for centuries. Currently, it has escalated to levels never experienced before and is occurring on all fronts.
Poisoned attitudes and ideas for achieving supremacy are delivered to each other through the media of all kinds, and accelerated with the internet. Poisonous ideas, like venom, need an antidote to dilute their power. This passage of time requires people taking a stand for peace, with conviction; not just politely standing by waiting to see what will happen.
When you pronounce Truth it will be recognized. Freedom is just that—freedom from fear and freedom of speech. Persevere in spreading a message of peace, love and harmony. Do not give others authority over you or be beguiled by false platitudes and toxic ideas. Do not let fear make you feel small and insignificant.
Why are people afraid to take a stand? It stems from fear of punitive action from those in authority. Childhood experiences of being scolded by a teacher or older authority, have conditioned people to be afraid to speak the truth or take a stand against the prevailing culture. People who are in fear seek leaders who represent authoritarian parents or other adults in their childhood experience. It is time to reclaim your own authority, your inner spiritual greatness. It is time to be discerning from your own inner guidance. Bow down to no one, and ask no one to bow down to you.
In unraveling conflicts at all levels, ask the question, “When does a defense become the offense? When are we the perpetrators and when are we the perpetrated upon?” Every time we attack another, be it in families, work or the world, we tighten the interlaced pressure that will finally burst. We push others into a corner and they then counter-attack. We are locked in the stranglehold of intertwined relationships based in fear. Today’s world (and workplace) is a web of egos battling and competing for power and validation. It takes more courage to put your “gun” down–both figuratively and literally, then to attack and blame others.
Be a shining example to the world of acceptance, compassion and integrity. Open hearts with a divine message, bless those before you, and forgive your enemies. Prepare a way for a new generation and be passionate in your commitment to deliver Truth. Truth will cut through the confusion like the sun breaking through the clouds. Bask in the sunshine of our approval and share that same light of love and forgiveness with others. Blessed are you who do God’s work.
RELIANCE ON UNIVERSAL LOVE August 16, 2010
Posted by Danna Beal in Personal Freedom, Relationships, Universal Love.2 comments
If you want to truly make a difference in your workplace or anywhere else, you can only do it when you are strongly rooted in authentic power stemming from the power of universal love. Again, I am not talking about the sentiment of love. I am talking about the power and source of all that is, the source of all creation. It is love. Only our judgment of ourselves and others obscures the love from shining on and through us. Love awaits us—it is in a state of suspension for each one of us who has not yet fully realized and accepted its grace and splendor. But it is our choice to do this or not to do it.
Choice is the function and the main component of free will. Unconscious choices directed by the ego rather than by the wisdom of the inner self are the source of our chaotic lives. Choice without spiritual intent can lead to pain, despair, and destruction. However, choosing differently is always an option within the time you are here. But as fair warning, the longer we wait, the more severe the consequences tend to be. We unsuspectingly bring ourselves to points in our journey where we feel pain that is often the precursor to awakening.
In the world of the ego, reliance is found with other people and things. Reliance is the act of counting on something or someone outside the self for some perceived needed support, validation, or assistance. But relying on things outside yourself will never provide security. The only reliance that will ever give you any kind of certainty is that of your inner guidance and connection with the source. Reliance on love is the straightest and purest path you can walk. Choose no other.
Choosing love over the ego requires having the experience, even if only briefly, of relying on love. Communion with spirit will allow love to expand in your heart and will lead to genuine freedom, peace, and joy. Therein lies your safety and security, because this source is constant and unchanging. It can never be reduced or taken away, except by your own choice. Who would rely on anything less than the promise of universal love? Know these two things: 1) Love asks nothing and receives everything, and 2) Pain and suffering are the result of misguided intentions that block love.
Inspirational video of Universal Love at http://www.youtube.com/user/dannasbeal#p/a/u/0/f3vb1rseCSk
If love is the sunshine, judgment is the cloud that obscures it.
Rebuilding Trust in the Workplace: Join us for a free teleconference April 26, 2010
Posted by Danna Beal in Emancipation, Forgiveness, Relationships, Self-Forgiveness, Spiritual Energy.Tags: cooperation, rebuilding trust
add a comment
Join our Wednesday call for Leonard Szymczak’s “The Roadmap Home Fireside Conversations” discussing “REBUILDING TRUST IN THE WORKPLACE” with international speaker and author, Danna Beal, M.Ed.
Danna has been the keynote speaker for over 300 businesses and business conferences. She has been interviewed on over 60 radio and TV shows. Her new book, “The Extraordinary Workplace: Replacing Fear with Trust and Compassion” will be released this fall. She shares a plan for rebuilding relationships in the workplace so that people everywhere can be restored to their authentic power residing beneath their self created identities.
During the free teleconference Danna will:
* Identify the web of egos and how internal competition destroys teamwork and cooperation in business.
* Reveal the source of fear and pain in the workplace.
* Shine a light on the obstacles to a peaceful, productive and rewarding workplace environment.
* Share a personal path for restoring you to your authentic self – your inner, spiritual greatness.
* Clarify how you can powerfully create an extraordinary workplace, as well as find your own personal happiness.
TIME AND HOW TO PARTICIPATE:
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
5:00 pm Pacific Time
Phone: 218-936-7643
Access Code: 265615#
(Join us a few minutes before 5pm when the virtual logs are lit.) Be part of the conversation or just listen. If you would like to send in a question ahead of time email Leonard at leonard@leonardszymczak.com. For more information about The Roadmap Home visit www.theroadmaphome.com.
Visit Danna’s website, www.dannabeal.com and download a free MP# – “Is Rivalry Preventing Teamwork in Your Organization?”
Danna Beal has been conducting her groundbreaking workshop series, “Healing the Workplace Culture,” and keynotes on, “Enlightened Leadership: Restoring Trust and Compassion” for ten years. As an author and business consultant for 20 years her experience includes: hospitals, physician practices, CPA firms, law firms, insurance agencies, retirement living, hospitality, retail, stock brokers, car dealerships, government, and non profits. Danna resides in Bellevue, WA.
Enlightened Leadership November 11, 2009
Posted by Danna Beal in 1, Personal Restoration Plan, Relationships, Spiritual shift.add a comment
Until each leader can face his/her own inner doubts and fear of reprisal, all attempts at leadership will fail in the face of conflict. Emotional instability and immaturity show up in the workplace, families and relationships. Unresolved issues, pains and insecurities, even though masked with attempts at artificial roles of superiority, eventually collapse when the pressure mounts.
The masks will fail to protect and the fears will overtake all circumstances. In an attempt to protect the self, the ego will resort to the strategies they believe carried them through stories in the past. These false roles will only result in further dramas, leading to larger catastrophes affecting the security and safety of many people. The emotional drama feeds on the hidden fears and frailties of the individuals.
Kindness is in short supply—based on fear. Illumination only comes from within—facing your fears and insecurities. Life presents opportunities and choices that lead to authentic power. Believe not in outside appearances but look within. The child, the neuroses, and the psyche are all competing for attention. Where you focus your attention builds strength of that which competes within you. Trust in your own inner guidance—even when you feel little support from the masses.
Vow to be witness to Truth. Be aware of wolves in sheep’s clothing and children dressed as powerful adults. Give up false pretensions and allow the Truth to emerge in spite of the power plays. Evolving levels of justice will be done. Trust in that. Rely on nothing else.
-The Twelve Wise Ones
Peace: Giving Up Rivalry November 11, 2009
Posted by Danna Beal in Personal Freedom, Relationships.Tags: Love, Peace, Spiritual Shofts
add a comment
Rivalry in the workplace, families and the world feeds on fear and insecurity and is accelerated by the desire to be recognized or appreciated. Few can withstand the discomfort and pain of being criticized, attacked and blamed. The feeling is literally that of being stabbed and deeply wounded.
Fear, when it comes up, wastes the energy of every man, woman and child. It becomes you. If allowed, it can overtake your perception of the world. Fear flows through us like a mighty river. When blocked, it begins building up and getting stuck within the body, hardening like frozen ice or concrete, and, finally, stopping all the healthy, normal emotions and actions from flowing.
The pain is then absorbed into negative emotions creating physical illness, addiction or deep morose. Attempts are made to expel the pain by blaming, attacking or lashing out at another, which only leads to greater rivalry, competition and jealousy.
Fear, blaming, attacking and holding a ‘gun” at someone else gives the one doing it a false sense of superiority, a feeling that they are above the source of the threat of destruction. The pain they cause in others is not felt when they are in the attack mode. But this sense of triumph is short-lived because another enemy will show up.
This rivalry we are seeing in dramatic proportions today, actually stems from childhood pain that gets hooked in the relationships with others. The pain needs to be released by facing and experiencing it—the very thing that most people avoid. This resistance of understanding the self at a deep level occurs because people are afraid of opening up a dirty secret—that they are not worthy. However, what they do not understand is that it takes so much energy maintaining this wall of protection and image of strength; it is a false image. Keeping up the defense is quite literally exhausting.
Emotional assaults are occurring every day at every level in the workplace and the world. The prognosis for this ongoing dysfunction is not good. It is an unending process leading to the deep lack of self esteem. Self worth will never be found in perpetuating drama.
What can you do to help heal relationships? The only remedy is to stop reacting, attacking, defending, blaming and fearing to look at your own wound. Who is the source of pain? Why do you allow the attack and, most of all, why do you believe them?
Staying with the pain, not running away, and allowing it to arise so that it can be released, is the only way you will discover liberation. As you allow the pain to be felt, you will gradually recall and have memories in your psyche of other painful experiences. This is your opportunity to witness to yourself how you received these ideas and descriptions of yourself and how these fears have become you!
Discovering your true self, your beautiful self, is difficult to do when you have incorrect beliefs about yourself that block your experience of joy. Clearing out the fictitious thoughts requires the willingness to stay with your emotional pain, long enough to release it. This courageous act will strengthen your inner core of authentic power, for you will be facing your greatest fear. It only takes going to that place of pain, briefly. You do not have to replay this scene of emotional suffering in your physical world again. Allow the pain that is hurting you now to be the door to your release. And that can only be done by you, on your own journey, to the source of lies about yourself.
The truth is that we are glorious beyond our own belief– all these little beliefs that we have created are nothing but this— shadowy veils. These veils of protection keep us from being fully alive and joyous by filtering the light and shrouding us from seeing our true selves.
Messages from Twelve Wise Ones 